#Document **** ATC_Tailored_Application_1043.edf #Document Title: Standard ATC Employment Application #Document Subtitle: Edited for 078, 3113, 4414 #Document Instruction Data: Please fill out the enclosed application and transmit it to the address at the end of the file. In addition, please bring it with you to your assigned interview date and location. Hardcopy accepted, but datachip preferred. #Document Legal Disclaimer: Note that any falsification of information on this application will render any contracts agreed to on the basis of this application null and void, and possibly engender legal proceedings of a civil or criminal nature. The punishments may include incarceration and forced reparation of past wages/benefits. #Document Editables: First Name --- Soma Last Name ---- McLochlane Home Address - 4236 Granteed Circle City --------- Red San Francisco Country ------ English-Speaking Coalition Orbital Body - Mars Age ------------------------ 28 Sex ------------------------ Male Ethnicity ------------------ Caucasian Favorite Color ------------- Royal purple Favorite Dead Civilization - Have you ever been convicted of a felony, in any ESC locality: (Y/N) N If yes, please explain: 1.) List the skills you feel make you the right choice for this job: - I have master's degrees in both history and linguistics (specializing in dead languages), as well as a keen interest in civilization change and the cultural effect of massive historical events (my master's thesis in history, "How 'Leave It To Beaver' Destroyed Western Civilization", is available online at the Red New York University public collection). Additionally, I have spent the past six years pursuing archaeological finds on both Earth and Mars. Some of these have been adapted into a first-person TSM- adapted TVNet format program called "Under the Moon" and are available via subscription service as downloads through the ArcNet data distribution service. Significant finds have been put on display in museums on Earth and Mars. -- 2.) Circa 1947, what American Baseball team had gone the longest without winning a world series (Replacement question: What is baseball): - It is a little known fact that while the sport known as "baseball" was primarily associated with cud-chewing jocks who were too fat for football in the America of the 20th century, the sport itself dates back to Aztec roots in which it was more of a bloodsport, and the ball was typically the dried and shrunken head of a conquered tribe's leader. The losing team was considered to be too weak to participate in war and were sacrificed to Quetzcoatl. A splinter group of Native Americans in the southwest, in defiance of the US government's acquisition of their land, actually created a "shadow American league" in which tribes from all over the country gathered in dusty reservations to play with rules rather more aggressive than typical baseball; for example, batters were allowed to carry the bat with them around the plates and using it to get basemen out of the way was perfectly acceptable. Losing teams were not sacrificed, but instead were forced to perform the tribal duties of women for a month out of shame. A number of tribal records in the form of diaries have been unearthed in the former American state of New Mexico, including one I found myself just outside a former Pueblo reservation northwest of Roswell. In the world series of this league, which persisted from 1908 until it was shut down by tribal councils in the northeast sometime around 1932, two teams had never made it to the final game: the Iroquois Peltskinners and the Mahican Cornucopias. It is reasonable to assume that social pressure from 9-10 village men tired of doing the cooking 4 months out of the year are responsible for the eventual death of the league. -- 3.) List your three greatest successes: - Being voted one of Red People's Most Eligble Bachelors for 2091. Apparently being a TSM actor and keeping yourself in shape does wonders for your ability to inspire masturbatory fantasies. You do NOT want to read my fan mail. - Discovering an ancient object near what was once Shandong Province in China of inexplicable origin that was subsequently bought by Andressen Tofu Corp for a really ridiculous sum; it helped to fund the creation of "Under the Moon". What the hell did you want it for, anyway? - Graduating from Red New York University with two master's degrees by the age of 20 without having killed myself or anyone else. I even asked a girl to a dance during the process! ...maybe it was a guy. On Sangria-Beltaine it's difficult to tell and everyone's memory is a little hazy afterwards. -- 4.) List your three top island nations circa 1954: - Corsica. I guess it's not really an island nation since France was still in nominal control at the time, but it's still a very pretty island to this day and there were plenty of remnants from a number of huge empires that owned the thing at one point or another (the Romans, the Byzanitines, etc.) - Scotland. This is admittedly a selfish thing, since I am detectably if distantly of Scot stock, and Scotland itself isn't an island nation per se (really the list of actual island nations in 1954 is fairly small, especially when you consider most of Micronesia and the Caribbean was owned by European countries at the time) but... where was I? Yeah, Scotland. It has a sea monster! In a lake! - The Maldives. Explorers wouldn't start to dig it up until the 1980's, so I for one would love to have been there in the 1950's instead to take a look around. I think studying cradles of civilization like the Fertile Crescent is a little dull. If you look at the *fringes* of a society you learn a lot more about it... sometimes a culture's exiles and travellers are better representatives than the citizens. -- 5.) List your three greatest failures: - Despite all the things I have accomplished I have never learned to play the cello. I have been telling myself I would do so since I was thirteen years old and have never done it. Don't all eccentric geniuses play a musical instrument? It's how they get out their existential angst about tampering in God's domain. Maybe that's just mad scientists; perhaps we in the humanities are exempt from that rule. - Not realizing that if you people were willing to pay that much money for something that basically looked like a futuristic chrome Matryoshka doll I found in some canyon in China, it was probably worth more than I thought it was. I still want to know what the hell it is. I have since decided not to be blinded by dollar signs, and the TVNet junkies of Mars have made sure I don't need to be. - Losing touch with my parents when I was very young. By the time I was 12 I had already been packed off for ATC's advanced youth scholar program, and they both faded from my life except for brief visits on holidays. Granddad had always wondered where his family history came from; Great Grandma had him out of wedlock and left him at an orphanage with only a last name. I was determined to go into history and find it for him someday, and since I came from poor stock I was determined to get ahead. The problem is, that meant spending 99.9% of awake time studying and working. By the time I got out of school in 2085 they'd moved to Red Montreal and opened a bakery... and I was getting funding for the group that would eventually be the team behind "Under the Moon". I don't speak to them often, though I get cards at birthdays. I occasionally wonder if they're ashamed of me for not being into bread. -- 5.) What was the importance of the Zimmerman Telegram: Ostensibly this was the reason that the United States had growing hostility toward Germany near the middle of the Great War and was one of the sparks for American involvement in the conflict. That said, there is a significant impact on the cloak and dagger world as well at this point. Consider that the spy world, in the early 1900s, was mostly a coatroom, genteel thing. You passed secret notes, you encrypted messages, you got men of power forming big intrigues behind desks with their hands folded in front of the mouths. It was more like a chess game. But the Zimmerman affair essentially proved that model didn't work. There were no spies; there were "intelligentsers". What do we get in response? Mata Hari pops up in World War 2 and fucks her way through the enemy ranks. Ian Flemming develops James Bond, who in "real life" would be the worst spy ever because he is about as inconspicuous as an orbital DunnoCorp billboard, yet the world seems to think secret agents are all this way, and in the crazy way that life imitates art, eventually it grew more and more LIKE that. It went from being a drama to an action flick. Kind of a shame, really. -- 6.) What are your salary requirements: - Open, really. Sales from the show have kept me wealthy enough to keep doing that without needing a "real job" to fall back on. I'm more interested in the opportunity to do more hands-on research than in making a quick buck. -- 7.) Present a short description of your working style: - I am very hands-on. When I see a problem I tend to throw myself at it and try everything until I figure out something that works. I am comfortable taking charge of situations but I prefer not to if someone else is really into it; in truth I usually work alone or with a very small, close-knit crew of assistants. I think the worst words in the world are "we had no choice". There's got to be an alternative in every situation; you just need to think creatively to bring it out. -- 8.) Tell us a joke: I usually don't do jokes. Quippy situational one liners are more my thing. Tell you what: look over a few eps of "Under the Moon" before the interview, find something to mock me about, and I'll toss a zinger back at you, see if that floats your boat. -- 9.) Do you suffer from or have a family history of any of the following: * Frequent Nausea (Y/N) N * Space Sickness (Y/N) N * Motion Sickness (Y/N) N * Vertigo (Y/N) N * Allergies (Y/N) N * Asthma (Y/N) N * High/Low Blood Pressure (Y/N) N * Heart Disease (Y/N) N * Diabetes (Y/N) N * Catalepsy/Narcolepsy (Y/N) N * Seizures (Y/N) N * Other Physical Ailment (Y/N) N * Depression (Y/N) N * Autism (Y/N) N * Schizophrenia (Y/N) N * Hallucinations (Y/N) N * Night Sweats (Y/N) N * Apathy (Y/N) N * Other Mental Illness (Y/N) N -- 10.) What do you order on your pizza: Taco sauce, grilled chicken in jerk seasoning, and bell peppers. Something I learned while researching that Aztec baseball thing, it's actually pretty good. I've never liked fusion cuisine, so much the better for me in the end that I spend a lot of time on Earth or commuting. -- 11.) List any cybernetics and/or splicing treatments you currently have: - I have a standard TSM jack, but otherwise nothing. I'm a little averse to cyberware, it makes me nervous. The jack was a necessary evil if I wanted to get "Under the Moon" made. -- Last question. Name the famous person from history you'd most like to meet: - The individual who came up with this question for essay contests, job applications, scholarship applications, and college entrance exams. I would really like to meet him. Is he a sadist? Does he bore easy? Is he resistant to puncture wounds or blunt trauma? How long could I keep him alive using only candle wax and some rope? #Document Reply Address: priority.one.applications@email::ATCNet.Maildaemon #Document Closing: Thank you for applying to Andressen Tofu Corp! Your application will be read and duly considered. Expect a reply in no less than five (5) business days. #EOF